Saturday, November 15, 2008

Despair Doesn't Work

I don't want to go into detail, wear my heart on my sleeve, or wear my life on my facebook page (or in this case, blog). <-- That was for you, Carla.

I have learned the importance of keeping a quiet heart... although rarely do I actually realize how effective that is.

Two verses come to mind:
"...and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands, just as we commanded you, so that you will behave properly toward outsiders and not be in any need."
- 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

"In quietness and trust shall be your strength." -Isaiah 30:15b

More often than not I would rather just splat everything out, display all my emotions and think it's the end of the world. I would rather despair.

So, simply put, today was rough. But I refuse to despair.

This morning before work I was a little down. It was still dark outside and through my window I could see the moon peering through the trees. I stared at it. I closed my eyes. I swallowed. I opened my Bible to Psalm and I read chapter 34, (I just put some of it here):

I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; the humble shall hear of it and be glad.
Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together.
I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed.
This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. <--That's me!
The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, and delivers them.
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him.
The young lions lack and suffer hunger, but those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them ALL.

Today was not without good things, even if it is hard to sift them out.

I am thankful for my sister.
I am thankful for my mom.
I am thankful for my cousin.
I am thankful for MY GOD.


Jeffery said...

This post was thought provoking.

Where does community and church fit into this picture?
How does this work with the admonishment in Galatians 6 to bear one another's burdens?
Is our relationship with the God and the struggle involved with that always or ever to be strictly private?
Is it ever appropriate to depend on others? Can it be contextual?

Just some initial thoughts...

Karen said...

That comment was thought provoking.

Yes, I think it can be contextual. I also think I may have used the 1 Thess. verse a tad out of context. I do think it goes along with what I was saying though, which was simply that I believe it is important to 'keep a quiet heart' in the sense that I m not flipping out to the point where my trust in God is called into question. In this sense, yes, I think it is very appropriate to depend on others. (Notice the list of people I put at the bottom - guess I should have put God first haha, but I kind of did it that way for effect.) A big part of this for me is moving this resolve from my head to my heart. When I don't want to trust that everything is in God's hands, I have to tell myself that it is, and make myself believe it though I don't always overrule my heart with my logic, of course. (I often ask God to move it from my head to my heart for me, or at least help me, because I can't even do that on my own.) It's all a part of discipline. Before I despair, I turn to God and believers I know will encourage me, and that all fits within what I believe to be keeping a quiet heart. It's important, too, to use discretion when it comes to what I share with others and the way I share it. There are a lot of proverbs that speak to this. Also, if a non-believer sees me freaking out all the time and not trusting my God, I don't think it's a very good witness.